After the intros have played(Press Esc to skip them), you'll be into the actual game.
Left click to move young Guybrush Threepwood right along the pier, until you get to the Scumm Bar, Right click on the door to open it, then enter.
Walk right until you come to the table with the Important Looking
Pirates, right click to talk to them, when you get the chance to choose your reply, say "I want to be a pirate.", they'll tell you about The Three Trials, shortly after, you'll be given the chance to reply again, click on either of the top three answers, as you'll need to learn about each of the different trials.
After you've learnt your tasks, say "I'll just be running along now.",
and walk up to the fire place, after a short while, the chef should come out of the door to your right, wait until he has gone off-screen to the left, and walk into the kitchen.
When you're in there, pick up the pot under the table, the hunk of meat on the table, and open the door to the right, to go on the pier at the back of the bar. As soon as you open the door, a seagull will fly over and start pecking at the fish lying there, walk down to the bottom right hand corner of the mini-pier, and you'll stand on a loose board, which will partially catapult the seagull into the air, do this until the bird stays in the air(usually takes 3 times), and pick up the fish, walk out of the kitchen, and out of the bar.
After a short cut-scene involving the ghost pirate LeChuck, and one of
his henchmen, you'll be back in control, walk right again through the
When you are back in control, open the first door on the right, and
enter the house. In here, search around until you find a chicken(located on the trunk), after some further inspection, you'll find out it's a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle. then walk right to find the famous Voodoo Lady, she's not an important character, but talk to her if you wish, after your conversation with her, exit the house, then go through the next arch.
Open the first door you come to, and walk into the shop, talk to the
shopkeeper, and tell him "I'm looking for the Sword Master of Melee
island.", it turns out he is the only person that knows of her
whereabouts, after the conversation is done, follow him. You must be
quick, and try not to lose site of him, follow him through the town, and through the woods, if you're fast enough, try and pick up one of the yellow flowers, after a little game of cat and mouse, he'll lead you to the Sword Masters hideout.
From here, another cut-scene will take place, when it's done, walk back to the path, if you didn't get one of the yellow flowers the first time, go back to the fork on the map, and take the middle path going north, and pick one.
Make your way back to the map, and head for the clearing, enter the
Circus Tent. You get to meet the Fantastic, Amazing, Acrobatic, and
exceedingly well known, Fabulous Flying Fettuccini Brothers!
When you can reply, say "OK, I'll do it." when they ask about a helmet, say "Of course I have a helmet. What sort of idiot do you take me for?", Then give them the pot you got from the kitchen.
When they ask if you're ok, pick either answer, and you'll end up with
478 pieces of eight!
Walk back to the town, and go through the first arch, talk to the
Citizen of Melee, when he asks you if you have a cousin named Sven, say "No, but I once had a barber named Dominique.", He'll ask you if you want to buy a map to the treasure, say "I'll take it. It'll make a swell gift.", you lose 100 pieces of eight, but end up with a *very* hard to understand map. Now walk through the next archway, and in to the store(first door). In here, pick up the sword and the shovel, and talk to the storekeeper. say "About this sword/shovel", then say "I want it." to buy the items, and walk out of the store.
From here, go into the alley next to the store, and you'll meet the
lovable(?) Sherriff Fester Shinetop, say whatever you want, as it won't make too much difference, when you're done with him, walk out of the alley, and into the Jail.
In here, talk to the prisoner, you'll find out he has horrible breath,
so walk back to the store, and say to the storekeeper "I could use a
breath mint.", he'll give you a full roll for 1 piece of eight. Go back to the Jail, and give the breath mints to the prisoner so you can talk to him. After your conversation, leave Otis.
The order you do the trials in will slightly effect the game, if you
steal the idol last, you'll miss out on a scene, involving the lucky
Guybrush noseh...Threepwood, and the sexy Governor Elain Marley, so I
personally advise you to steal the idol first, or second.
Mastering the art of Sword Fighting.
Head back to the map screen, from here, click on the house in the bottom right corner, when you get stopped at the bridge, give the fish to the troll, and continue to the house. Once there, open the door, ask the man "Could you train me to be better than the Sword Master?", then keep saying "I do so have what it takes!" until he agrees, after that say "I've got 30 pieces of eight.", then "OK, check it out.", When you're in the training room, and get a chance to talk, pick any answer, as it won't make a difference.
Once you're done with the training, walk back to the map, and stand
somewhere so that other pirates will walk into you, so you can learn
some insults(go to section 5 for more info), when you have the chance
say "My name is Guybrush Threepwood, prepare to die." to get into the
actual sword fight, from here, choose which insult you want to use, and let the sword fight play through.
When a pirate says "Wow! You're good enough to fight the Sword Master." head up to the Sword Master's house, Talk to her and say "My name is Guybrush Threepwood. I've come to kill you." to fight her(for help with her insults, check section 5 again). Once you beat her, head back to the path.
Mastering the art of thievery.
Go back to where the jail is, and go through the arch next to it,
then walk to the Governor's Mansion.
Use the Yellow Petal on the Hunk of Meat, to make a drug for the dogs,
then use it on the dogs themselves. After they've fallen asleep, open
the front door, and enter.
Once your in the house, open the door near you and enter, now our
"friend" Fester Shinetop will make an appearance.
There's nothing you really need a guide for in this section, but here
goes.....Hypnotize the quarrelsome rhinoceros, Push the red button, Look at the tremendous yak, Push the tremendous dangerous-looking yak, Pull the tremendous dangerous-looking yak, Pick up the staple remover, Use the staple remover on the tremendous dangerous-looking yak, you'll be thrown out, and you can just watch the rest of it.
When you regain control, head back to the jail, and give the gopher
repellent to Otis, he'll give you his Carrot Cake, open the Cake, and
you'll find a file, now trek back to the mansion. When you eventually
get there, walk in to the gaping hole, the computer will handle it from here. When you get a chance to reply to the sheriff, choose any answer, the lovely Elain Marley will come out, choose whichever answer you like, and this trial is almost complete. To get out of the water, simply pick up the idol.
Mastering the art of treasure huntery.
Go back to the forest, and take the middle top path, left, right left,
right, top middle, right, left, top middle.
Now if you followed those properly, you should be in a different part of the forest, which is covered in red flowers, walk right until you see the big X, and use the shovel on it, Guybrush will do the rest by
himself, when he's done, go back to the map screen.
Now when you've completed all three trials, you'll be greeted with a
cut-scene, showing the ghost ship sailing away. Shortly, the Look-out
will come to talk to you, and give you a note. When the look out walks
off, look at the note to read it. Then head to the Scumm bar, pick up
all the mugs you can find, and talk to the chef. When you're done with
him, walk into the kitchen and _SAVE YOUR GAME_, you're going to need to fill up one mug with grog, but switch it regularly, so it doesn't melt, you'll be heading for the jail, where you met Otis. When you get there, use whatever mug that has the grog in on the lock, to eat through it and set Otis free. Exit the jail, and a cut-scene will play.
Now head back to the Sword Master's shack, and go up and talk to her,
choose the reply "The governors been KIDNAPPED!", she'll be a member of your crew now. Only one more crew member to get, so head back to the map screen, and to the shore on the top right corner.
When you get there, Walk to the pole, and use the chicken on the cable.
Then open the door of the house, and walk in, choose the obvious answers when Meathook talks to you, eventually he'll lead you to his "monster".
Open the door, and tickle the murderous winged devil. After you get out of the house, climb up the pole again, use the chicken on the cable, and walk back to the map.
Walk to the lights in the shape of a boat, and you'll arrive at Smilin' Stans Previously Owned Vessels.
When you're able to speak, choose "I really don't have that much to
spend.", then "Actually, I was hoping to get one on credit.", and "On
second thought, this may not be the ship for me.", then finally,
"Actually, I'd like to go think about it some more.".
Head back to the village, and to the store. Talk to the keeper, and say "I'm interested in procuring a note of credit.", when he asks about a job say "Yes, of course I do.". Now when he walks up to the safe, pay very good attention to the direction he moves the handle in(or write it down). Choose any of the answers when he asks you what your job is, it won't make any difference, then say "I'm looking for the Sword Master of melee island.", After he's gone, walk up to the safe, and move the handle in exactly the same way the storekeeper did. Push brings the handle right, Pull moves it left. When you get the note, head back to Stan's.
Say to Stan "Uh... could I see that cheap one again?", then "I got
credit from the storekeeper. Will you take it?", and "Let's talk
extras.", say "I think I can live without that particular piece of
junk." to all of the things, until he starts repeating himself, then say "Enough about extras, already.", now say "Forget it. I don't need this boat anyway.", then "Well, maybe you're right...", then say "I'd like to make you an offer.", choose "5000! And that's my FINAL final offer!", Now walk back to the village.
When Otis shows up, say "Otis! I thought I'd never see you again!", then any answer to the Sword Master.
Then we're done with the first part.
Part 2: The Journey.
Unfortunately, the bastards you chose to be on your crew, want to
sunbathe instead of helping you, ah well, screw 'em!
When you regain control of Guybrush, pick up the feather pen, and the
ink, then walk out of the cabin. When you're on deck, climb up the rope ladder, pick up the Jolly Roger(flag), and climb back down again, then head for the hatch. Go down through the next hatch, pick up the Giant piece of rope, then open the kegs on the left side of the screen, open the chest on the bottom right hand corner, and look in it to get the wine, then head back up the ladder, and walk through the door.
In the kitchen, pick up the pot on the table, and open the cupboard,
then pick up the cereal. Open the cereal, then open the prize, now walk back to the cabin you started in. Use the small key in the cabinet, and pick up the chest you find. Open it, then look at it to get the contents. Now open the drawer of the desk, and look in that.
Now look at the dusty book, then head for the kitchen. We're going to
make a little something for dinner now, so look at the piece of paper
for the ingredients. Put the following in the cooking pot:
Cinnamon sticks, Gun Powder, Jolly Roger, Cereal, The Rubber Chicken,
The Breath Mints, The Ink, and the Wine you found in the kitchen.
Watch the short cut-scene that takes place, and when Guybrush is lying
on the floor, spouting nonsense, click anywhere to make him stand up.
Climb up the ladder, and go down through the hatch to the cellar, pick
up some more Gun Powder, and walk back up to the deck.
Use the giant piece of rope on the cannon, the gun powder in the cannon nozzle, and head back to the kitchen. Use either the feather, or the dusty book with the fire, and quickly run back up to deck.
Use the flaming mass on the fuse, and then use the pot. And we're
finished with the very short Part 2.
Part 3: Under Monkey Island.
This chapter begins with young Threepwood's head under the sand... and
his ass of fire(I told him to stay off that curry). Anyway, after Herman Toothrot(great name!) has left, click anywhere on the sand to get out, look at the note on the tree next to you, and pick up the banana on the ground, then walk into the jungle.
From here, head left, and go to the fort on the old volcano.
Once you reach it, pick up the spyglass, the rope, and push the cannon.
If Herman Toothrot interrupts you, say anything to him, and pick up the gunpowder when you get the chance, then head back down to the section of the map you started in.
Go up on the map, and go to the river fork. Pick up the note under the
rock, and use the gunpowder with the dam. Open the spyglass, then use
the lens you get, on the sun, to blow the damn dam. Head to the freshly created pond, pick up the rope you find on the dead guy, and the note alongside him. Herman will most likely show up, say anything to him, then head back to the map, and go to the bottom of it, then head to the crack.
Use the rope with the tree, and the other rope with the sturdy stump.
Pick up the oars, then head back to the jungle. Go to the top of the
map, then back to the river fork.
Walk up the footholds, push the primitive art twice, then head up the
next set of footholds. Now push the rock sitting on the cliff edge, and, if everything's gone to plan, the rock will hit the banana tree on the beach. Then head back to the beach you started on, and pick up the nice fresh pile of bananas, then use the oars you found, on the small rowboat. Head in a right-up direction, then go past the bit of island that's sticking out, go up on the map again, and click on the beach near to you.
Pick up the note if you want, and walk into the jungle again, then go to the village. Walk left, and pick up the bananas, then walk right again, to be confronted by the Cannibals of Monkey Island!
Choose any of the replies, you'll get thrown into prison anyway.
Pick up the skull, the memo, and the loose board, then click on the
loose board again to get out.
Go back to your boat, and row to the beach you originally started on.
Walk to the jungle, then click on the monkey.
Give all the bananas you have(should be 5 of them) to the monkey, and he should follow you, now go back to the jungle, click up on the map, then left, now go to the clearing.
Walk along right until you find a wooden totem pole, and pull it's nose, try and walk away from it..... unfortunately it'll close, but your monkey will climb up there and hold it down for you. Walk through the gate, pick up the wimpy little idol, then go back to the map, and back to where you left the boat, now go to the cannibal village.
Walk left and try to open the door, then walk right again to be stopped by the cannibals, say "Don't eat me! I'll give you anything!", then give them the wimpy little idol. Walk into the hut they held you captive in, pick up the banana picker, and walk out again, now give the banana picker to Herman Toothrot. Go back to the monkey head(where you got the little idol), and use the big ass Q-tip on the monkey ear, now the monkey head will open it's mouth, and roll out it's tongue, walk in, then walk out again. Run back to the cannibals, and say "Well actually, there is something...", "I'm looking for somebody.", then "I'm looking for 30 dead guys and one woman."(sounds like one helluva fetish-orgy to me!), and choose any answers from now on. When they turn their backs, give them the leaflet you got from Stan. Now once you get the dried up head(nice!) head back to the monkey head(agaaain). Whip out yer head(that's the navigators) and follow his nose to the ship.
When you get there, talk to the head, and say:
"May I please have that necklace?", "Maybe I'll just take it...", "I
don't want to have to hurt you...", "What're you going to do? Bite me?",
"If I wanted to I could dropkick you into the lava."
Then use the necklace, and walk onto the ship. Walk through the door on the left, into LeChuck's cabin, use the magnetic compass you got from Stan, on the key, then walk back to the deck. Go through the hatch on the right side, and through the passage on the opposite side.
In here, pick up the ghost feather on the floor(next to the chickens),
walk back through the passage, and use the ghost feather, on the
sleeping ghost pirate twice, pick up the jug o' grog, and go back
through the passage again, then use the key from LeChuck's room, on the hatch.
Pick up the cooking grease in here, and go back to the deck. Use the
grease on the door, and walk through. Get the ghost tools, and head back down to where the chickens and pigs are. Use the ghost tools on the crate, and look in it to get the root. Now make your way back to the cannibal village. After they give you the special potion, walk out of the village. Choose any replies to the following conversation,
eventually you'll head back to Melee Island, which leads us too..
Last Part(A.K.A Part 4): Guybrush kicks butt.
Try to walk right, you'll be stopped by a ghost guard, choose any
answer, it'll all end up the same anyway. Walk right again, and use the magic seltzer bottle with any ghosts you encounter, until you reach the church. When you get a chance to speak, say anything, your replies won't really make much difference in this chapter. After you eventually land(in Smilin' Stan's) after being punched repeatedly by LeChuck, QUICKLY pick up the root beer, and use it on LeChuck.
Now sit back, and enjoy the romantic ending sequence.
And as the credits say.... Turn your computer off and go to sleep!